im feeling a lot better. i think 2 days is the longest i can go without sunshine. as soon as the sun broke free of the clouds i felt better. kelly and i took a LONG walk on monday cause it was so nice outside (i was in sandles). then yesterday it was also nice out so walking home from work was very enjoyable. 

it really got me to inner self reflect. i found this quote the other day online and im trying to internatize it:

If the source of your happiness can be taken away, you’re not really happy. And of course, when I say happiness I don’t mean a smile on your face. I mean a deeper, inner happiness. A sense of peace with life.

If you’re happy for a reason, that reason can be taken away. True happiness isn’t based on externals. It comes from within.

Dig deep. Let’s be happy not because.

ugh. so i think ive based too much of happiness on other people. if they're not happy, im not happy. i truely let it get me down. so ive been working on finding what makes me happy, cause if i lose what was the foundation of my happiness, then im sol. so i did a random act of kindness yesterday. it filled me with such joy that im going to try and do it more often. it was very little, but it helped. 

xmas and a lot of fun with the family here. joel got a Flip Digital Camera and is loving it. ill upload the video of my parents opening up a xmas present. it always brings a huge smile to my face when i see it.

*HUG*

funk

get me out of this FUNK!

sunshine

this is how i felt all day yesterday..... ugh.... what a cranky mood i was in

luckily the sun is out today and i think ill be able to recharge my system. id like to go out tonight but i doubt thatll happen cause theres so much that needs to be done around the house.

ps. i didnt get frustrated last night ^_^

my bubble

you is frustration

i feel like i live in this bubble. a bubble of happyness. id like to say that i try to not let negative things affect me, but they just dont.... i think it just slides over my bubble. the thought that rage can be pent up was told to me a lot, but i never truely believed it. now i defintaly dont. rage doesnt get pent up. an 'explosion' of "pent up" remorse never happens when i do some i regret. so why would rage be any different?

so if i have this bubble, why have i allowed myself to get frustraded? it does me no good, but i still allow frustration to be the first thing out of my mouth sometimes... let me give you an example:

out washing machine is leaking, so i placed a towel on the ground the soak up the water while i was at work. when i got home i put it in the sink. when we were getting rdy for bed, joel asked me to move the towel so he could wash his face. i was reading my book and in a frustrated voice, fussed at him to take care of it himself.

now why did i do that? was i annoyed that he interrupted my reading? was i annoyed that he just didnt didnt take care of the 'situation'? was i tired? idk, but why did i let frustration take over me so easily?

now that ive recognized ive let frustration into my bubble, how do i push it out?

new hair

im gonna do it... im gonna grow out my hair! my inspiration? edward from twilight:



im nervous cause ive never ever had long hair... i mean... 2 inches is the longest.... AHHHHH!!! grow hair grow

thanksgiving

Fun Games and Salon Contests

So the contest for November at our salon is 2 part. If I win either of these 2 contests, i get movie tickets to the new movie theater that opened just 1 block form my house! and i REALLY wanna see Madagascar 2!!!! So here're the 2 contests:

1) Think of a fun TEAM BUILDING activity. It can be something like going out on b-days, etc, but im sure we can think of something better. Here're the ideas so far:
- going bowling
- playing laser tag
- human rock, paper, scissors
- lets make a deal (my fav so far)

2) Take candid pics of each other smiling... this one is kinda hard cause i dont have a zoom, and no one smiles around here:

Tell me what you think would be a fun team building game for our salon
^_^

too happy?

can one be too happy? i know you can be too nice, which'll sometimes get you taken advantage of, but can you be too happy? is it wrong to trust people before you know them? is it bad to have friends, even if you disagree with what they do and believe in?

im struggling with a few of these ?'s. when i meet people, i assume they're good people and trust them and want to be their friends. even if they havent done anything to prove they're trustworthy or if theyre good friend material. and maybe friend isnt the right word. acquaintance maybe? at what point is it ok to go out with an acquaintance and try to become a friend? idk...

is my being too happy mean im nieve? are people who're nieve know they are? i dont feel im nieve, but i know im happy all the time.

*sigh*

well i guess its better then being the opposite ^_^

new haircut

i got a new hair do. really bad pic but i was excited about it. its super short on the sides and go higher then the parietal ridge. think wide mohawk. the back isnt mohawky, but it does taper down to a triangle. 

pics

a lil upset

so cali voted to pass prop 8. prop 8 makes marriage defined as a man and a woman. i have problems with this and the more i think about it, the more upset i get. heres me 2 cents:

marriage: the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments and religious ceremonies

1) marriage is supposed to be a union of 2 people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. so why can't 2 men marry? are they not capable of love? is their love for each other not as a good as a heterosexual couple?

2) marriage is a legal right. the government shouldn't discriminate... period. 

3) marriage is a religious act under god. so why is it recognized by the government? shouldnt you get married in a church then apply for a union at the court house?

4) marriage of 2 men is not ruining the sanctity of anything. was it not 50 years ago that an interracial couple was ruining the sanctity of marriage? are heidi and seal ruining your marriage?

please read http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm

specifically the arguments against gay marriage. 

tell me what you think. do you agree, disagree?

^_^

so ive been in the dumps lately cause my $$$ is getting low. i hate living paycheck to paycheck and i feel bad that joel has had to take up my slack. so i broke down last night and asked him if i should follow another career that would pay more. he looked me straight in the eye and said, "no. i want you to do what makes you happy. you love your field and you wouldn't be as happy anywhere else." i just died. that was so sweet! but i still feel bad that i dont make very much.

ive decided on the coat and ill get it friday. im going for the longer one. thanks for the advice. i also wanna get a scarf. but i want this one. im thinking about asking Grammy if she'd want to knit it for me, but i feel bad for asking.



tonight is Wingapalooza (www.winga.net) it should be pretty fun. im going with joel and chris.

coat?

so i found 2 more coats that i like and that're cheaper (plus 30% off!). tell me what you think...

Textured crombie jacket:

80% wool 20% nylon

likes: side pockets

dislikes: maybe too long?

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=9001&pid=593671

Modern peacoat:

80% wool 20% nylon

likes: large collar

dislikes: not as many pockets

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=12346&pid=405550

PLUS A COOL SCARF!!!

I want this coat

**********VOTE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK***********

I saw this coat and really want it:

The only coat i have now is this one:

It is warm, but im 25 and i dont need to be wearing camo jackets.  its a lil pricey but i get 30% off so the total would be like $175. here're the stats:

60% Cotton, 28% Viscose, 12% Wool.

Dry clean.

Imported.

Ten-button, double-breasted front. 

Two exterior pockets, interior pocket.

YEAH

i got my new background to work!!!! tell me what you think....

i wanna change it jus a lil more, but you get the over all idea... id also like to change the picture from time to time

new background

im working on a new background... its in the early stages, but ill get here soon :) i used scrapblog to make it